please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just high enough for therapy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
