What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Randomize
