That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
