who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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