so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter