my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
