We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious