Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice