9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
