does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
