i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
