What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
