PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Define "chronic" masturbator.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
