The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
