Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So much rum. So many feels.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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