Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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