He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Houston, we have a squirter
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
