either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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