uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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