Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think i peed on brittanys purse
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
