she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
