Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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