its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize