We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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