Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
