I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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