He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
