I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
