so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
4 words: hood of his car
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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