Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
