I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
