Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
