I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
