just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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