Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
