If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
