Where did you get a picture of my penis
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I could fuck to npr.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
