I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
