I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
