everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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