she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize