I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
