clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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