After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
