8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
