I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
