can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i now understand why vodka
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
