Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
