I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
