he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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