you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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