Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The beer is more important than you right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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