So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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