why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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