DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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