Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize