I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
