I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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