Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
