May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
